smiles!

here kitty kitty kitty.. com'ere kitty kitty kitty.. just keep smiling kitty.. youre so adorable.. huggies! yeahh.. keep smiling no matter how frustrated you are.. how upset you are.. keep smiling.. no one knows how you feel inside.. youre so adorable..

my best

my best
just isnt the best for you
so..
as what the above states..

failure is
never an option..

please do me a favour

can you please do me a favour?
please?
when i do not want to talk about it
means i have already forgotten about it..
and could you not always remind me about it when i know how ive been such a fool?
when i dont want to talk about it. means i do not want to remember about it.
when i do not want to remember about it means i do not want to recall about it
so please.
dont remind me to recall the past if you really dont want me to go on recalling about it.
better off said him.
i have done my part so much to distant myself from everything and stop all the bullshits from happening. stopping all the contacts and stuff.
so please. every single time. im reminded of those filthy past. i admit. its my fault.
i know the fingers are still pointing at me.
but dammit. seriously.
past is past.
all those words used against me.
i know its wrong. so please. help me forget about it.
saving all those bullshits . wont it just hurt you?
making me more hurt? making yourself hurt only?
asking me to delete the past and everything when you yourself dont know how to delete it?
try taking it for your own advice.
please..
please do me a favour..
thats all im asking for..
hoping you can do it for me..

life together

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office.
Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.

Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....
This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage nothing ever seems to go right.

They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 yrs of marriage at the age of 70, he couldnt understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband..
"I really love u, but i really cant carry on anymore, I'm sorry.."
"Its o.k, i understand.." said the husband. Lookin at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them,wife thought, why not, since they are still gonna be friends..

At the dining table, there was a silence of awkardness.
The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady.."take this, its your favourite.."

Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe theres still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer.."
This is always the problem, you always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, dont you know that i hate drumsticks?"

Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favourite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drummsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.

That night, both of them couldnt sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn...after hours, the old man couldnt take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he cant carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "i love you"...

He picks up the phone, starting dialing her number....ringing never stops..he never stop dialing....

On the other side, she was sad, she couldn’t understand how come after all these years, he still doesnt understand her at all, she loves him a lot, but she just cant take it anymore....phone's ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that its him..."whats the point of talking now that its over...i have ask for it and now i wanna keep it this way, if not i will lose face.."she thought...still ringing...she have decided to pull out the cord...

Little did she remember, he have heart problems...

The next day, she received news that he had passed away...she rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone...he had a heart attack when he was still trying to get through her phone line....

As sad as she could be...she will have to clear his belongings...when she was looking thru the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, with the beneficiary being her... And together in those file, there was this note...

"To my dearest wife, by the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer around, I bought this policy for you, though the amount is only $100k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that i have made when we got married, I might not be around anymore, I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you, just like the way I will if I could have live longer. I want you to know Iwill always be around, by your side... I love you"

Tears flowed like river......

lying to loved ones?

Jenny was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life that was on the right side of town. She unpacked her things with such great ease. As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze. How wonderful it was to have her own room. School would be starting, she would have friends over soon. There will be sleep-overs, and parties. She was so happy. It's just the way she wanted her life to be.On the first day of school, everything went great. She made new friends and even got a date! She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be, because I just got a date with the star of the team!" To be known in this school you had to have a clout, and dating this guy would sure help her out. There was only one problem stopping her fate. Her parents had said she was too young to date. "Well I just won't tell them the entire truth. They won't know the difference. What's there to lose?"Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night. Her parents frowned but said, "All right." Excited, she got ready for the big event. But as she rushed around like she had no sense, she began to feel guilty about all the lies, but what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride? Well the pizza was good, and the party was great, and the moonlight ride would have to wait, for Jeff was half drunk by this time.But he kissed her and said that he was just fine. Then the room filled with smoked and Jeff took a puff. Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff. Now Jeff was ready to ride to the point, but only after he'd smoked another joint.They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride, not thinking that he was too drunk to drive. They finally made it to the point at last, and Jeff started trying to make a pass. A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all (and by a pass, I don't mean playing football.) "Perhaps my parents were right. Maybe I am too young. Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb?" With all of her might, she pushed Jeff away, "Please take me home, I don't want to stay. Jeff cranked up the engine and floored the gas. In a matter of seconds they were going too fast. As Jeff drove on in a fit of wild anger, Jenny knew that her life was in danger. She begged and pleaded for him to slow down, but he just got faster as they neared the town. "Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied. I really went out for a moonlight ride."Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash. "Oh God, Please help us! We're going to crash!" She doesn't remember the force of impact. Just that everything all of a sudden went black. She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble, and heard, "Call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble!" Voices she heard, a few words at best. But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck and it looks pretty bad. Then wondered to herself if Jeff was all right, and if the people in the other car was alive. She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad. "You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad." These voices echoed inside her head, as they gently told her that Jeff was dead. They said "Jenny, we've done all we can do. But it looks as if we'll lose you too." "But the people in the other car?" Jenny cried. "We're sorry, Jenny, they also died."Jenny prayed, "God, forgive me for what I've done. I only wanted to have just one night of fun." "Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim, and wish I could return their families to them." "Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied, and that it's my fault so many have died. Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?"

The nurse just stood there. She never agreed. But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes. And a few moments later Jenny died. A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best to bid that girl her one last request?" She looked at the man with eyes so sad. "Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad."

this looked familiar..
i was a fool..

best worst mum award!

I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also. But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My brothers had the same mean mother as I did. My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was. There were bruises all over our bodies. Sometimes we had to hide those bruises with our clothes.We reached the height of insults because she controlled us from not going out as often just to save money. Which made us feel so left out from our peers. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends? We had to wear our outfits she loved us to wear, We just had to follow whatever she wants us to do. The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed early and up at seven the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. We still have that CURFEWS! So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us.. We just had to tell her everything. Such an annoying busybody mum dont you think? VERY GAGO i must say..Whats the benefit there? SHE IS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU THROUGH YOUR UPS AND DOWNS. THATS THE BEST OF IT!! dont miss your chances spending quality times with your mums.. being close to her is one of the BESTEST times.. she will NEVER fail to be there for you.. this i PROMISE.. she wont..

By the time we were teenagers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. When im out with my boyfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there? Like prolly every 30 minutes i suppose? I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Hmm..

Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.
As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out. My mother was a complete failure as a mother. You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We missed being rascal hooligans? We missed our "uneducated" life. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride to have a mum as mean as she can be. So what the hell? you think having a controlled mum is annoying? thats because she cares and loves you so much. shut the hell up if you go around complaining about your mothers. they're just doing their best to raise a good child. without them we wouldnt be here. think about it. with all the pain after all the bleeding and burden carrying us for 9 freaking months? and look what we are doing now? it is because of her annoying and irritating voice that goes boom, boom, boom every single day.. we're grown up to be who we are now.. we only have one mother.. and they are irreplaceable.. trust me.. the meaner your mum is.. the feeling of shutting her up when shes angry and always thinks shes ruining your life? hate her all you want but she is still your mum and she was the one who made you see the world.. despite those offensive words shes been screaming at me, she never fails to love me wholeheartedly and provides me with things i needed.. HATING your mum wouldnt bring you anywhere.. that regret feeling would somehow be felt.. Well mummy.. i dont care what other people say about you.. youre my mum.. MINE.. im sorry if im saying foul words here mummy.. but i really dont give a damn of how people are saying about you as in how controlled you are to me, how crazy or lunatic you are, how insane you can be when you go SCREAMING YOUR VOICE out loud.. da hell.. who cares? which mum doesnt raise their voices at you? fortunately my mum does that and i love her as who she is.. She made me be who i am now and i am proud ive been raised by her..

Because you see,
I thank God,
He gave me the meanest mother the whole world.

berceuse

berceuse..

berceuse is a french word for lullaby.. it is often used for classical music.. so yeahh.. why am i using classical terms for this bloggie? berceuse are often for lil babies in their cradle aite? i have a lullaby for my only mother..

lemme kiss away the frowns
as you kissed away the fears
when rolling thunder flung me to your lap
your breast became my haven
Now its my turn to snuggle you into sleep
Sleep, Mamele, sleep

These gnarled hands spoke of love,
more eloquently than words- fed, diapered,
braided ribbons into my hair,
made dolls out of rags, cookies of dough
Unfutl them, like flowers to the sun
Sleep, Mamele, sleep

Feel safe with me, I'll protect you
from sharp breeze
or impatient eye
Close your eyes, my aged child
and when you no longer can see
you'll hear me softly croon.
Sleep, Mamele, sleep..

its YOUR month!

In your eyes, Mom
i have always been the prettiest
The smartest, the funniest
The one with the potential
To do anything

In your eyes
My failures are but
Practice for success
My weaknesses
But strengths in the making
My mistakes
but an opportunity to learn

In your eyes
I am the strongest
and the softest
i am the shoulder
the world can cry on
and the rock
it can lean on

In your eyes
I am the most creative
and artistic
my every stick figure
the Mona Lisa
My every clay figure
David

In your eyes
I am the most loved and loving
Everyone's bestfriend
The perfect daughter
The perfect mother
The perfect wife
A beautiful person you know

And when i see myself
Reflected in your eyes
i see someone
Ten times the person i'll ever be
I see you..

Is there anything more precious, more steadfast, more constant or enduring than a mother's love? When i stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself..

very well..
i shall cut the formality and just write what i have to say.. every May of the year..
an important month for every mothers?
from my point of view every day is mother's day.
so mummy..
as may is a very special month for you..
i'd make it a two in one thingy..
mother's day isnt over.. though its officially on the first week of May..
still I'd love to wish you..

AND

so mummy.. i know this blog.. looks simple.. but loving is hard to express.. after every single thing you've done for me.. i wish you all the best.. and know that im always there for you.. including the arguments and all.. despite all the times we've been down, down, down, down, down?.. hehe.. my love as a daughter towards her mother will not fade.. i thank God for having you as a mother.. thank you so much mummy..

emotions

i suck?

hell yeah.
thanx for the compliment.
sadly.
im sorry.
i admit.
i suck.


help me to be UNSUCK?
im sorry.
im never the perfect one.
for you
to always accomplish your wish
to be your perfect one
to be the perfectionist of all perfectionist
im sorry
im always wrong
always
picking up every pace slowly..
still learning about life..
trying my best..
im sorry..
im a failure..

dear diary

when i look at you

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy

When my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I look at you
When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I look at you

When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I'm Not Alone.

i love you darling sweetheart

always take me with you

You
never leave someone behind,

you take a part of them with you

and
leave a part of yourself behind.

a tear

I dropped a tear in the ocean.

The day you find it
is the day


I will stop missing you..

loneliness

You left
and
my heart
is
a ceaseless sermon
of
loneliness

i miss you

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

i miss you sweetheart

yesterday, today, tomorrow

For
you see,
each day
I love you more

Today more than yesterday
and less than tomorrow.

from one end

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love;
the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later
when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.

love

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm,
but willing to draw blood in its defense.

i just love you

i
love
you
the moment i laid eyes on you,
in my past,
even when im angry,
no matter how annoying you are to me
today
tomorrow
future
and
everlasting.
i love you
and
you alone.

betrayed?

betrayal? hmm. betrayed? in love? in friendships? what is betrayal? who is so PERFECT that you've never get betrayed? life is unfair at times.. it hurts when you get betrayed.. it sucks so much.. when you do NOTHING wrong.. then shit happens.. and you get betrayed? and and and..
you get cheated by the ones you love so much? how's that for betrayal? nothing hurts as much as how i feel.. getting hurt physically is still fine by me.. da hell.. but getting hurt on the inside? serious PAIN i tell you.. no one knows.. i'll do what i do best.. pretend? smile and act as usual when in fact i feel shitty inside.. life is TOO SHORT to feel down all the time.. ain't i right? im just being optimisitc about life and who gives a damn about what others are doing behind you? you're having a future of your own.. they dont control your life.. you are in control of it.. whatever happens, happens for a reason.. shit happens? just look on the bright side.. friends let you go it aint our fault. not your loss.. their loss.. you can gain more friends.. cmon! relationships come and go and friends stay? puh-leese. relationships and friendships of course do stay when there is understanding and they stay with you through the hardships and not pull you down and abandon you when youre in the middle of having problemos.. pointing fingers just wont help..

buddy you so cute!
outta the blue
youre here!
adios!

siblings

what do they have in common?
hmm..
spiky hair i suppose?

well..
what do these three have in common??

................................................................................

..................................................................................

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


well
in fact..

i love you both bros..

truth? lie? what can be worst?

i'd tell a lie..
i'd tell the truth..
but
you'd rather listen to lies rather than truth..
even if truth were to be told
why would you bother
cause you'd only think its a lie and you won't believe..
so i'd rather lie than telling the truth
when in fact the truth is beneath the lie..

not a day without i love you

i really love you sweetheart..
i keep on thinking about you..
i cant stop thinking about you..
i miss you too much..
i wana let you know
that i love you
hugs and kisses


~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
if ever a day should go by when i don't say
i love you
may never a moment go by
without you knowing
that
i do love you..
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

you're on my mind

i have always loved you so much..
and
im still loving you this much sweetheart..
and
i will love you so so much
every minute
every day
im living
in the future..

sweetheart

i've been missing you so much sweetheart
youre never far from me
youre always in my heart
i love you so much
my darling sweetheart..