Suddenly he didn't know how to open his mouth. But he had to let her know what he was thinking.
"I want a divorce.....". He raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by his words, instead she asked him softly, "why?" He avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at him, "You are not a man!". That night they didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. He knew she wanted to find out what had happened to their marriage.But he could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; he had lost his heart to Dawn.
He didn't love her anymore.
That is the reason almost any men will give - I don't love her anymore, she is not attractive anymore, she is not "HOT", she has no "BIG BOOBS", she is not "SEXY", she is not understanding, etc.
"I want a divorce.....". He raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by his words, instead she asked him softly, "why?" He avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at him, "You are not a man!". That night they didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. He knew she wanted to find out what had happened to their marriage.But he could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; he had lost his heart to Dawn.
He didn't love her anymore.
That is the reason almost any men will give - I don't love her anymore, she is not attractive anymore, she is not "HOT", she has no "BIG BOOBS", she is not "SEXY", she is not understanding, etc.
He just pitied her.
With a deep sense of guilt, he drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own their house, the cars and 60% stake of his company. He gave it to her and she glanced at it.
She tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent 15 years of her life with him had become a stranger. A total stranger living in the same house. She had done almost everything for him.
He felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but he could take back what he had said for he loves Dawn so dearly. He fell in love with Dawn deeply. She meant everything to him.
Exactly like when he first fell in love with his wife.
She finally cried loudly in front of him; which was what he had expected to see. To him her cry was actually a kind of release. A kind of expression begging for pitiness. The idea of divorce which had obsessed him for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, he came late and found her writing something at the table. He didn't have supper but went straight to sleep. He fell asleep fast because he was so tired after an eventful
day with Dawn. A tiring day spending with Dawn. An interesting day with his lover.
When he woke up, she was still there at the table writing. He just did not care so he turned over
and continue sleeping.
Her reasons were simple:
their own son is having his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with their broken marriage. This was agreeable to him.
But she had something more:
she asked him to recall how he had carried her into their bridal room on their wedding day. She requested him that everyday for the month's duration he would carry her out of their bedroom to the front door every morning.
She tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent 15 years of her life with him had become a stranger. A total stranger living in the same house. She had done almost everything for him.
He felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but he could take back what he had said for he loves Dawn so dearly. He fell in love with Dawn deeply. She meant everything to him.
Exactly like when he first fell in love with his wife.
She finally cried loudly in front of him; which was what he had expected to see. To him her cry was actually a kind of release. A kind of expression begging for pitiness. The idea of divorce which had obsessed him for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, he came late and found her writing something at the table. He didn't have supper but went straight to sleep. He fell asleep fast because he was so tired after an eventful
day with Dawn. A tiring day spending with Dawn. An interesting day with his lover.
When he woke up, she was still there at the table writing. He just did not care so he turned over
and continue sleeping.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
she didn't want anything from him but needed a month notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month they must struggle to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple:
their own son is having his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with their broken marriage. This was agreeable to him.
But she had something more:
she asked him to recall how he had carried her into their bridal room on their wedding day. She requested him that everyday for the month's duration he would carry her out of their bedroom to the front door every morning.
He thought she was crazy....
Just to make their last days together bearable he accepted her odd request.
He told Dawn about his wife's divorce conditons. She laughed out loudly and thought it was absurd. She said scornfully. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce". They hadn't anybody to contact since the divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when he carried her out on the 1st day, they both felt clumsy. Their son clapped behind them.
"Daddy is holding mummy in his arms!" His son's words brought him a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door. He walk over 1o metres with her in his arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly; "Don't tell our son of our divorce." He nodded, feeling somewhat upset. He put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. He drove alone to the office.
On the 2nd day, both of them acted much more easily. She leaned on his chest. He could smell the fragrance of her blouse. He realized that he had not looked at this woman carefully for a long long time. He realized she was not young anymore but she was still beautiful. He realized that their marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute he wondered what he had done to her.
The 4th day, he lifted her up again. He felt the sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given 15 years of her life to him.
5th day and 6th day, he realized that that sense of loving each other growing again. He didn't tell Dawn.
Every day it is getting easier to carry her. As the month slipped by, she is lighter to carry.
Perhaps, he is getting stronger.
Suddenly it hit him!
She grew thinner. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously he reached out and touched her head. At that moment their son came in and said, "Dad, it's time to carry mum out".
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. His wife gestured to their son to come closer and hugged him tightly. He turned his face away because he was afraid he might change his mind about the divorce at this last minute. He then held her hand in his arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the front door.
Her hand surrounded his neck softly and naturally. He held her body tightly; it was just like their wedding day.But her much lighter weight made him sad.
On the last day of that one month, he held her hand in her arms and cold hardly move a step. Their son had gone to school. He held her tightly and said to himself; "I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy."
He drove to the office jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. He was afraid any delay would make him change his mind. He walked up, Dawn opened the door and he said sorry to her. He doesn't want the divorce anymore.
Dawn looked astonished, and touched his forehead. "Do you have a fever?" she asked. He moved her hands away and said to her. "Sorry. I won't. My marriage life was boring probably because we didn't love each other anymore. I need to keep the fire of my love for her burning. Now I realize that my vows was I am supposed to hold and be with her until death do us part.". Dawn suddenly wake up and gave him a slap which his wife never did to him for that 15 years of togetherness. Then she slammed the door and burst into tears. He walked out and drove away.
He stopped at the floral shop and ordered a bouquet of flowers for his wife. The salesgirl asked him what to write on the card. He smiled and wrote, I will carry you out every morning until death do us part.
That evening he arrive home, flowers in his hands, a smile on his face, ran up but only to find his wife in the bed - dead. He cried uncontrollably and carried her for the last time from the room with tears streaming down his face and gazing at their only son. Tears rolling down from his eyes, making him cry even more. He had lost his love, his wife, a loving and caring mother. There is nothing he could do to turn the clock backward. He placed the flowers in her hands with his tears trickling on them.
she's gone forever, all his tears would never bring her back.
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